Have you ever heard the questions, why are you on the planet? What do you believe is your purpose right now? I have. I would like to share with you why I am on the planet right now at this very moment. It is a story that includes coping with the loss of my infant grandson, Brennen to "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome," (SIDS).
My son's distressing words still echo through my mind as I think back to over three years ago to that horrific January 2, 2004, Friday morning telephone call asking for me to rush and be with my daughter-in-law because our grandson Brennen was being rushed by ambulance to the hospital. Brennen had been found in his crib not breathing. My son stated he was not allowed to go to the hospital because the first responders needed him to answer some questions. My heart sank instantly to the pit of my being and my mind swirled with questions. My emotions took a roller-coaster ride inside my body as I learned legal authorities were denying my son the right to be with his child. I did not know it then, but now I know my grief journey started at that very moment.
Soon after reaching the hospital, we learned that Brennen had succumbed to what the doctor called, "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome," (SIDS).
I had lost several members in my family over the past few years, but nothing wrenched my heart so deeply as to lose my grandchild. It just seemed so out of the ordinary, so not normal...so unthinkable. After all my children and grandchildren were supposed to bury me, not me, bury my grandchild. It seemed like a double whammy of grief flooded my soul because I grieved for my children, my living grandchildren and my own loss of a grandchild. Indeed, in a flash my family as I knew it, is changed forever.
So what can I tell you about what am I doing to cope with my grief? I am living my very best life, while living in the midst of grief and loss. Living my best life now means play dates with 12 of my thirteen grandchildren. It means giving honor to my eleventh grandbaby with a seasonal visit to his gravesite and promoting my Christian children's grief book, "Flying Hugs and Kisses" to help bring awareness and education about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Most of all it means finding solace in God's word, the Holy Bible.
I would also tell you another way for me to cope while living my best life now is the compelling drive I have to tell others about the various issues surrounding SIDS. Namely, "SIDS is the diagnosis given for the sudden death of an infant under one year of age that remains unexplained after a complete investigation, which includes an autopsy, examination of the death scene (Center for Disease Control and Prevention guidelines), and review of the symptoms or illnesses the infant had prior to dying and any other pertinent medical and family history. Because most babies sleep in cribs, and therefore, most cases of SIDS occur when a baby is in a crib sleeping, SIDS is sometimes called "crib death." Cribs do not cause SIDS." (First Candle/SIDS Alliance, http://www.firstcandle.org)
Doctors are not sure about the prevailing cause of SIDS; this leaves American families in a state of ambiguity, searching for meaning. Yes, there is research evidence that suggests some SIDS babies are born with brain abnormalities that make the baby vulnerable to sudden death during the first year of life. However, there is not yet a way to predict or prevent SIDS. Current studies indicate that despite the proactive steps parents and caregivers take to reduce their baby's risk of infant death, "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome," (SIDS) continues to be a leading cause of deaths for over 2,000 infants during the first year of life in the United States. I would let you know that SIDS crosses all socio-economic boundaries. There are grandmothers like Tracy who wants people to know that African American and Native American babies are 2 to 3 times more likely to die from SIDS than Caucasian babies are. Male infants are more likely to succumb to SIDS than infant females.
Collaborative projects are ongoing throughout the United States medical research arenas searching to uncover the medical mystery of SIDS and effect positive outcomes for families. These collaborative projects need money in order to continue their efforts to find answers for SIDS families and to end SIDS for future generations.
Most importantly, I would let you know there are SIDS families affecting a positive outcome for themselves by bringing honor to the lives of their babies; people who are living their best life in spite of their personal SIDS tragedy. Some SIDS survivors are walking out their best life now by providing SIDS specific grief support groups' online, raising funds for SIDS research to find a cure or to purchase needed resources and services for SIDS families. Other families are making the planet a better place, right in their own backyards by nurturing surviving children through their grief by helping the children make flower gardens or plant a special tree in memory of their SIDS baby brother or sister.
Without any question, living my best life now is looking back and having few regrets at the end of the day. Acknowledging the day may not have been as perfect. The day may have been laced with wisdom and understanding from things gone awry. Events occurred in which no one had control, but there remained self-respect, self-compassion, and self-discovery of how my divine purpose and destiny was pursued the best way I knew how, at that very moment in time. Knowing I did all I could to make the planet a better place gives me inner peace and strength to live my purpose and destiny another day. The things that make me happy are family generated activities. The thing that makes me the happiest is a vital relationship with God and experiencing inner peace because I know I have lived out my purpose for today the very best I can.
Now you may be thinking why do I think my story could help others? My story is worth telling if I have helped to broaden the perspective of others of what is Sudden Infant Death Syndrome," (SIDS) and how it affects surviving SIDS families. If a reader understands more fully, what others are going through, just maybe there would be more sensitivity toward SIDS families, then my story has met it's purpose. I pray my story helps SIDS families know they are supported in their grief.
Yes indeed, it would be great to get a chance to sit down with you and talk about SIDS families' purpose on the planet is to live our best lives now, forever changed. Reality is, it probably will not happen.
However, if my article somehow comes to your attention, I hope it broadens your perspective about why some of us are on the planet. Some of us are here, at this point in our lives, to help bring "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome," (SIDS) to the forefront with the hope that someday someone will find a cure and end SIDS altogether.
Now share why you believe you are on the planet! What's your purpose now?
by Jewel Sample, Author of Flying Hugs and Kisses
