"Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help"
As a griever, we hear it over and over--especially immediately after our loss. But we seldom ask for help.
People want to help, but they don't know what to do. They feel uncomfortable and are reluctant to intrude in our pain.
The next time someone offers to help:
- Believe their offer is sincere and they want to help.
- Recognize that it is okay to ask for help. We need others at this time. We can be grateful when someone wants to help us.
- Match the person to a task that is a good fit for them.
- Be prepared with ideas. Suggest practical steps they can take that will lighten your load or encourage you during this time.
Here are some suggested responses next time you hear, "Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help":
- Would you please pray for me on (give date of anniversary, birthday, or other upcoming date that might be particularly difficult for you)?
- I would love to have your help with planning a reception after the memorial, choosing photos for the memorial, writing the obituary, or selecting songs for the service.
- I am dreading going through my loved one's clothing. Would you come over so I don't have to do that alone?
- Would you read Scripture, man the guest book or pass out programs at the memorial/funeral service?
- Could you house-sit during the service to prevent a robbery?
- Could we get together for coffee and talk?
Remember, it is okay to ask for the help you need. Your friends and family love you, but they can't read your mind. Give them practical suggestions and they will help.
