Last night I watched the movie, The Queen and was very intrigued by it. The Queen is the story of Princess Diana's death, from the perspective of Her Royal Highness, the Queen of England.
The film was very interesting, especially the points it made about grieving the loss of a loved one or family member (we won't assume that all family members are loved):
- Grievers often have differing perceptions and relationships with the deceased. In the case of Princess Diana, she was greatly loved by the public but rejected by the royal family. She was divorced from Prince Charles, so no longer a member of the royal family, yet her death profoundly impacted them.
- People grieve differently. Some are stoic while others openly express their sorrow. These differences caused friction after Diana's death as the monarchy sought a private time to reflect on their loss and the public demanded some sign of grief from them. These different approaches to grief are often part of the griever's personality or family traditions, however they may also come from the perception of the deceased.
- Grief often occurs in the middle of complicating circumstances. For instance, Diana was no longer part of the royal family and though she was divorced from Charles, he accompanied her body on a flight home from France. The royal family had to deal with Diana's death very publicly though they were estranged from her.
- People often have expectations of how we should grieve and try to impose their expectations. In this case, the people wanted the royal family to show thier sorrow publicly, to make statements and hold a state funeral.
- People grieve how they are taught to grieve, regardless what others think is appropriate. It can be very difficult to modify long-standing traditions related to grieving.
You may want to view The Queen and think about your own grief traditions. What pressures do others put on you and how do you respond to those pressures? What are the complicating circumstances surrounding your grief? How do your perceptions of your deceased loved one differ from the perceptions of others about him or her?
As you ponder these things, remember God made you who you are. You have a unique grief style that is yours alone.
I would enjoy reading your reactions to the movie, The Queen. I look forward to your comments!
