Faith and Grief

Virtual Grief

Today I found out that someone I have been praying for over the past several months succumbed to cancer. I have never met Brian in person. I have never met his wife Angie either, but I have been reading her blog, Keep Believing, faithfully and praying for them and their two boys for quite a while.

Brian died in the early hours this morning and I am at a loss. How do I grieve for someone I don't "really" know? This family lives halfway across the nation from me, so I won't be attending any services. I can't stop by with a meal or a warm hug. But my heart breaks for them.

I can (and did) leave my condolences in the comments of Angie's blog. I can send a card and I can continue to pray for her and the boys. It just doesn't feel like enough.

Maybe you have had a similar experience. Maybe you've lost what my husband calls a "virtual friend" too. If so, I'd like to hear how it impacted you. How did you grieve? How did you reach out?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. And please pray for Angie and her boys. They are going to need a lot of love and courage as they walk through their grief.

Gratefully,

Beth

Grief Devotional “No Shrinking Back” at Comfort Cafe

Have you ever grieved the loss of a loved one? Or do you know someone who is grieving today?

If so, head over to Comfort Café to read my devotional, "No Shrinking Back."

Then check back here for more devotionals and other helps for grievers.

Gratefully,

Beth

A Grief Devotional: Beyond the Cliché

Beyond the Cliché

By Elizabeth M. Thompson

 

And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

 

We often hear this verse from well-intentioned friends in our season of grief. Perhaps we've heard it so many times that we glaze over and tune it out as just a pat answer that has no power to touch our pain.

 

Instead of shrugging it off, we can embrace Romans 8:28. We can anchor our hopes to its truth in the middle of our turbulent sea of grief. What does it mean that God works all things together for good? Did God cause this loss? Did he purposely take my loved one from me? Probably not. It is much more likely the result of living in a fallen and broken world.

 

Romans 8:28 doesn't say what happened is good—but that ultimately God will bring something good from our current suffering. Our part is to love him, to trust him and to live out the purpose for which he called us. We must let the raging waters of grief polish us like stones on the seashore. Eventually our rough places will give way to smoothness and our surface will shine with the reflection of our creator.

 

Lord, I am grateful that you can and will bring good out of this loss. I need to know you have a purpose for my pain to keep me from hopelessness. Thank you for your word of hope today. Amen.

A Grief Devotional: No Shrinking Back

No Shrinking Back

By Elizabeth M. Thompson

We are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe

and are saved. Hebrews 10:39

 

"I can't do this!" we cry out to God in the dawn of our grief, "Please take away this pain."

 

We have been given a task we are not equal to—letting go of someone we love dearly, perhaps the one person we love more than any other. It is too much for us!

 

Only as we trust Jesus can we walk this pain-riddled path. If we shrink back, depression and despair will overtake us. Like wild beasts on the prowl, they seek to devour us. No, we cannot shrink back. We must put our hope in Jesus and our hand in his and let him lead us through our grief. He will provide our protection.

 

When the path is too treacherous, too rocky and steep, he will carry us. He is more than equal to the task.

 

Lord, some days I feel my grief will devour me. If I survive, I will be wounded beyond recognition. Save me from despair, pull me back from the jaws of depression and carry me safely through the rocky terrain of my grief. Amen

A Grief Devotional: Come Quickly

Come Quickly

By Elizabeth M. Thompson

Be merciful, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. Psalm 31:9

 

Without the mercy of the Lord, I would be crushed by my grief! My sorrow weakens me and weighs me down. It wearies me and drains the strength I need to keep depression and despair at bay. I long for a few days of respite from the pain that I might be refreshed enough to walk through grief without succumbing to despair.

 

I need the Lord's mercy today. I cannot outrun my anguish but I can find shelter and refuge in the Lord even in the midst of my pain.

 

Lord, pour out your mercy on me today. I am weak and wounded and in need of your comfort and protection today. Shelter me, strengthen me, and love me. Come quickly, I pray. Amen

Grief and Deviled Eggs at Christmas

The gifts were wrapped, cookies baked and car packed, but I was struggling with the deviled eggs. The stubborn shells refused to release the hard-boiled eggs from their protective wrapping without a fight and I was getting frustrated.

This is not my job, I thought. Dad always brought deviled eggs to my house for special events. And Grandpa Coy always made them for Christmas Eve at his house. So now the baton has passed to me. I used Dad’s recipe and completed my task, but my heart was heavy.

With everyone ready to leave for Christmas Eve at my Mom’s house (our new tradition)—I needed to put on the brakes. I needed time to grieve.  In the last six years we have lost seven family members aged 14-months to 90 years old. Christmas makes me acutely aware of their absences.

I gave myself permission to grieve and spent time alone with God in prayer. Christmas will never be the same! I poured out my heart to Him in my prayer journal.

Then I placed the deviled-eggs on Grandpa’s glass tray and headed out the door—to celebrate the birth of my Savior with my family, those precious people who have walked this hard road with me. And together we are forging a new road, with new traditions.

If you are missing someone this Christmas (or several some ones) I hope you will carve out a little space to let yourself grieve. And let God refresh you so that you can rejoice in all He brought to us that day so many years ago when He stepped into time to give us eternity.

Merry Christmas,

Beth

Holding Fast: Faith Triumphs in Tragedy by Elizabeth M Thompson

I just finished reading a terrific book, Holding Fast: The Untold Story of the Mount Hood Tragedy. I reviewed the book as part of Thomas Nelson's Book Review Blogger program. I posted my review on Amazon.com and wanted to share it with my Faith and Grief readers, too.

In Holding Fast, Karen James takes readers on an intimate and emotional journey of faith and grief. Karen's husband Kelly—an accomplished mountain climber—left for a weekend climb on Mount Hood in Oregon, with two friends in December of 2006. When they failed to meet their ride at the end of the trek, Karen was thrust into a very private nightmare and a very public spotlight.

America watched as she spent eight agonizing days waiting, hoping and praying for Kelly's safe return while the mountain experienced the worst snowstorms in a decade. On December 17^th, rescue workers retrieved Kelly's body from a snow cave near the summit. His companions were never found.

Karen's faith in Jesus Christ quickly became her rock, the only solid thing she could cling to that would keep her from succumbing to grief.

"When your world falls out from underneath you and you are on your knees, there is nowhere to look but up. Suddenly everything you have claimed about your God and your faith is put to the test. During such a time, you learn where you stand with your Maker, and the most significant question of your life slaps you right in the face: Do you really believe?"

The answer to this question for Karen James is, "Yes—I really believe."

Holding Fast is the story of a man who lived life to its fullest and loved God wholeheartedly. It is also the story of a woman who learned to live without the love of her life and discovered an even greater love.

I remember when the Mount Hood tragedy dominated the news nearly two years ago. I was one of the millions who prayed for the safe return of all three climbers. It was fascinating to relive those events through Karen James' perspective. She really takes the reader into the deep places of hope, grief, acceptance and perseverance. I appreciated her vulnerability. Holding Fast will encourage others who grieve to anchor their souls to Jesus Christ.

Gratefully,

Beth

    

Change of Address

Change of Address

For several days I have been updating my address book. For several years I have been avoiding the task.

I would search for addresses anywhere other than my address book. Opening it was painful. Too many loved ones logged on the pages have moved from their temporary dwellings here on earth to their permanent residences in eternity.   I am sad that I cannot share a hug or a smile or a conversation with them. I cannot send a birthday card or an email just to say “hi!”

Even so, I rejoice because they are with Jesus and one day we will be together again.

 

 

 

An Accurate Reflection: Grief Devotional

An Accurate Reflection

By Elizabeth M. Thompson 

There is no one righteous, not even one. Romans 3:10

 

All of us have sinned. We have no claim of righteousness apart from the righteousness of Christ, imparted to us by faith.

 

Somehow when a loved one dies, we can lose our perspective and begin to think of our beloved as someone who was perfect. Our grief shields us from the memories of the things our loved one said or did that were far from righteous—a selfish attitude, a painful sin or even an annoying habit. Our minds trick us and for a time we cannot remember any imperfections.

 

For most grievers, this time quickly passes and is replaced with a more balanced perspective, a more accurate picture of our loved one, complete with flaws. When a griever is stuck believing only good things about their loved one, the griever is in danger of idolizing the deceased.

 

Lord, help me to have an accurate perception of my beloved. Remind me of the good and the not-so-good parts so that I might grieve the truth and not create a false image of him. Help me to see perfection in you alone. Amen

Grief Quote

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.  ~From a headstone in Ireland